Other Links:
 
http://www.fathersandfamilies.org http://www.ancpr.org
http://www.fathers.com http://www.fatherhoodcoalition.org http://www.acf.dhhs.gov http://www.badcopnews.com http://www.crckids.org http://www.fathers4kids.com http://www.hhs.gov/kids
http://www.kids.gov


Rules:
 
Start keeping a daily Journal
Record any significant event, including telephone calls, time spent with the children, arguments with you spouse or ex-girlfriend, information you discover that may have a bearing on your divorce or separation, etc. Keep this journal in a secure location. Be aware that this written record may be used as evidence, (and seen by opposing counsel) so stick to the facts and date all entries. One possible way to keep this journal from being subpoenaed is to start off each entry by addressing it “To My Attorney, (attorney’s name)” so that it automatically becomes “privileged communication” and is therefore not open to subpoena.

Don’t sign anything.
Many people have made the mistake of signing papers or preliminary agreements which later caused the outcome of property and custody battles to be decided against them. You may be signing something that no attorney can modify later. Don’t do it! If you spouse or ex-girlfriend wants you to sign something, politely say you’ll be glad to, but your attorney has” ordered you not to sign anything” before he or she has a look at it.

Prepare yourself for False Allegations.
A common (and effective) tactic to gain custody is to accuse you of domestic violence, or worse yet, of molesting your children. Often, false allegations are made in an attempt to gain (or re-gain) control of custody proceedings. You should contact your attorney at once if this occurs, then follow these guidelines to protect yourself from further allegations.

Having a Plan is important.
When a father first realizes he is going to lose contact with his children his feelings go from disbelief, through despair, anger, depression, confusion, and a total sense of injustice. It is based on the assumption that everyone knows how important it is for children to have support of their father, and that he obviously loves them, and they love him. Such notions are unfortunately naďve. The law is itself very confused. A court that refuses to send a single-mother to jail for stopping contact will send that same mother to jail for refusing to pay a parking ticket. Such inconsistencies will be found throughout the law, and even when the law is clear, experience shows that its interpretation and application is more suited to the beliefs of the judiciary than the children. Having a plan means looking at the situation logically rather than emotionally. You have to write out all the advantages and disadvantages of yourself, the mother, and the child.

Your Advantages
     1. You are highly motivated, and where there’s will there’s a way.
     2. You will be in the company of many other fathers who can offer advice and support
     3. There is growing recognition by the courts and society generally of the importance of the father’s role.
     4. The situation is changing to your advantage as the children grow up as in almost every case know the child wishes to have contact with the father.
Your Disadvantages
     1. You will miss out on the childhood years of your child.
     2. Other aspects of your life will suffer in many ways due to your distress
     3. You will be unable to plan for the future in any way that will include your child.
     4. Much of your time, money, and resources, will be spent on the problem without much to show for it.
 


 
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Please pardon our website, it's still under construction! Please direct any responses or questions to: Rob@fathersofmassachusetts.org

Thank you,
Rob
 

 

 

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